Wait, is the full title of Ballerina actually From the World of John Wick: Ballerina? That is how it is listed on IMDB, so let’s say yes! That is simply perfect. Considering that it is essentially Joan Wick, with its every element being horrifyingly derivative, the only better title would have been We Would Like to Have Additional John Wick-Related Money Please: Ballerina. Nobody went to see John Wick for the story, but at least somebody made some kind of effort writing them.
Here, Eve (Ana de Armas) is simply given a slightly different revenge plot peppered with elements stolen from Black Widow. When she was young, her dad was killed by members of a cult. The “cult” part of the cult is unclear. They all have Xs carved onto them, so maybe they believe in the holy power of tic-tac-toe?
Lil’ Eve gets taken to a mercenary group led by The Director (Anjelica Huston) and is trained for 12 years to become an assassin/bodyguard/ballet dancer. That last part makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. It can’t be that they needed a cover story, as contract killers openly stroll about doin’ their killin’ in public across every film in the entire Wick-iverse. Anyway, Eve gets good at doing murder and then tracks down the guy who iced her poppa, The Chancellor (Gabriel Byrne).
Here’s where things get hilarious: Everyone in the movie knows about the cult, but nobody knows where they are. It is an entire village/town in Europe that is filled with nothing but ninja-trained devotees of whatever this cult believes in. Lederhosen? Maybe they are disciples of silly britches? Anyway, John Wick (Keanu Reeves) shows up to do, and this is important, absolutely nothing. Then there’s a really cool flamethrower fight, which is the only reason this movie doesn’t get an F.
That From the World of John Wick: Ballerina is dumb is forgivable. That it is this uninspired is offensive. de Armas does not do anything to assuage concerns about her acting prowess, and no other characters are involved. Like, at all. Seriously, she doesn’t get so much as a notable mentor or sidekick.
Even the main baddie is barely in it, although he has the second-best scene. His flunkies tell him he has to flee the cult compound. He yells about how no leader in hundreds of years has been forced to escape. They tell him John Wick is on the premises. The next shot is him in a car driving away. Maybe it is that the moment has the tiniest outline of personality that makes it memorable?
You may ask “But how is the action?” After all, ostensibly that is the only thing that matters. The answer is: not great! It is uneven and repetitive. They try to give her some kind of different fighting style early on but then give up and just have her imitate Mr. Wick’s slaughter patterns. Outside of the aforementioned radical flamethrower battle, the fights even happen in the same places as the other movies: discotheque, alleyway, bathroom, and so on.
After every movie in this series, I find myself asking practical questions. There are so many assassins. They are everywhere. Is this the only job available in the Wick world? Do some of these hit-people long to be accountants or baristas but must follow in the family business of dealing death?
And given how long it takes to be trained in the profession, why are so many so bad at it? Can you imagine dedicating 12 years of your life to something and then having it be over in the 15 seconds you walk through a door and John or Joan Wick throws a meat cleaver into your head? That would be like going to medical school and residency only to see your first patient in private practice and they explode.
Another thing: The Wick franchise belabors this idea about rules. They talk about “rules and consequences” all the time. What are those when it comes to people who aren’t assassins? Why does nobody at any of the dance clubs run when things get shooty? We have seen police officers and police stations, but nobody ever seems to be arrested for all the very public murders. Can the next film address this? Can it be From the World of John Wick: Referee, and they just explain all the rules or something?
Anyway, this wasn’t very good, can you tell?
Grade = D
Other Critical Voices to Consider
Kelechi Ehenulo at Movie Marker says “Grenade-fu quickly becomes Eve’s signature trademark for the comical ways a henchman can die. An extensive flamethrower battle adds fiery spectacle for its 3rd act. And what Eve can do with dish plates or a pair of ice skates are moments when it doesn’t take itself too seriously. But the problem is, it almost comes too late in the game when these rare moments of glee are over in an instant.”
Jeannette Catsoulis at the New York Times says “With a title as cumbersome as its germinating mythology, From the World of John Wick: Ballerina is a stone-cold, self-infatuated effort to couple another boxcar to the franchise money train. I regret to report that Keanu Reeves’s titular assassin does not appear in a tutu.”
Dominic Griffin at Looper says “Without getting into heavy spoiler territory, there is a point in this film where the story feels like it is naturally wrapping up, albeit on less than satisfactory terms, before much of Eve’s arc seems to be pushed aside for a new final act more broadly inclusive of John Wick himself.”
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